How to Have an Orgasm Help with Pre-Orgasmia (also, inappropriately, called anorgasmia) Is orgasm just out of your reach? Many women feel aroused, enjoy their bodies and feel hot and sexy but can't quite get over that hump to orgasm. This experience is much more common than most of us think.  It is reported that 24 -37% of women in the US said they experienced a lack of orgasm.  40% of women report not having regular orgasm with masturbation. And one third of women have difficulty having an orgasm regularly with a partner.   Even though women tend not to be as orgasm-mono-focused as men, and instead enjoy the experience of sex with all of the senses it arouses, orgasm is a tremendous experience all human beings are capable.  The biggest question he is "are you getting the stimulation you need". Here are some tips!

	1. Start out by yourself.   Having a partner can be distracting.  Develop your own sexuality without the extra pressure of having to look after another person's needs or personality.
	2. No distractions. Find a time and place where you will not be distracted or overheard.
	3. Learn from others. If you are reading this you are already half way there.  Learn as much about your body as you can.  This will help you to leap over some of the common orgasm busters.    Betty Dodson is a master of helping women to have orgasms.  Her DVDs, Selfloving and Celebrating Orgasm, are a favorites of sexologists and women alike because they are practical, fun and they give valuable information that works.		Celebrating Orgasm
	4. Use a Vibrator. The clitoris is the route to orgasm for women.  A vibrator creates a freeway to orgasm.  Fast and effective.  The most recommended vibrator for women learning or relearning to have an orgasm is the Hitachi Magic Wand.  It has a broad head that reaches the labia and gives strong throbbing vibrations.  Another favorite is the bullet vibrator.  An inexpensive vibrator that is so versatile it can be incorporated into every type of sexual play and can be used on almost every erogenous zone.    Try the Lily Rechargeable Vibrator or Iris Rechargeable G-Spot Vibrator for a high level of quality, ergonomic design and rechargeable, reliable vibrations.		Hitachi Wand Lily
	5. Boost your arousal. Add in some extra sensation to your clitoris with a clitoral cream,such as: Emerita Response Cream: New Climatique: A favorite of our testers. Stimulating without burning sensation. These helpers are designed to tingle on your clitoris boosting your arousal where you need it most.		Clitoral Cream
	6. Watch others have orgasms. For some reason when we see other women getting sexual pleasure in a manner we  can identify with or fantasize about, it can help us get over the hump.  Some award-winning porn that are women’s all-time favorites: Bad Wives Pirates Eyes of Desire 2		Pirates

BEWARE OF ORGASM STOPPERS

Stress:  Stress interferes with the nervous system (parasympathetic), and stops the natural orgasm reflex.  In order to have an orgasm you need access to the the part of yourself that can "let go". That means, get stress out of your life, or at least out of your bed for a short time. Like most of us, if you simply cannot take things off your plate, learn to breathe for sex. Breathing is a sur- fire way to help kick your calming nervous system into action when you most need it.

Judgements: The "rights" and "wrongs" of our lives can be instantaneous blocks to orgasm. Worrying if a sexual act is morally right/wrong, our blow job or kissing techniques are up-to-date, or our body has too much fat are common thoughts that interfere with the sexual response cycle and stop us from "letting go" and abondoning ourselves into the experience -- reaching orgasm.  Pay attention to when/where you judge yourself. Give yourself a break and remember sex is natural. If it is consensual and legal, go for it.
"The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform."~Alfred Kinsey, sex researcher.

Anti-depressants:  SSRIs are a sure fire way of cutting out the orgasm response.  Ask your doctor to prescribe orgasm-friendly anti-depressant, such as Paxil.

Unwanted (practical) thoughts:  “My kids might hear me if I moan too loudly”, or “Did I leave the iron on” are common thoughts that get our minds off the pleasure and jolt us into real life. 

Pain: If you are experiencing mild pain with sex, use more lube – so much sexual pain comes stems from lack of lubrication.  Use it liberally.   If pain persists or is severe, see your doctor. 

Bad Prior Sexual Experiences: If you have been hurt sexually in your past you will most likely carry that trauma into your present.  Talk to your partner about what has happened to you.  Be aware of triggers that might remind you of the past.  An excellent DVD called Healing Sex, will walk you through sexual experiences after trauma.

HAVE AN ORGASM WITH A PARTNER

Don't forget about your clitoris.
The clitoris needs more stimulation with intercourse than it gets without any extra hand motion or vibrators.  Most partners will take the time to arouse their partner with oral or manual stimulation before intercourse. But then either forget or lose themselves in their own pleasure. Result? The clitoris gets sadly ignored with intercourse.

The clitoris is THE organ responsible for orgasm in women. Touch, kiss it, vibrate on it as much as you can. Use your hand (or his) to get the stimulation you need with intercourse. Or, if you want to relax and enjoy the experience without worry about "doing" anything, buy a small strap-on vibrator. Position it over your clit and enjoy both the vaginal stimulation and clitoral vibrations.  Voila! You are less reliant on his motion or penis to bring your over the edge.

Remote Butterfly